Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Human Sexuality Essay
William and Jessie both 23 years old have been dating for 3 years. They plan to get married in 2 years when they finish with graduate school. About three months ago William had an unplanned and alcohol induced intercourse with a colleague from work. The couple are in counseling and working on issues of trust and communication. Recently, they have started having sexual intercourse. Jessie says she is unable to climax like in the past. William says he is doing everything the same and thinks she still blames him. Looking at William and Jessieââ¬â¢s case, I believe that the possible societal and gender influences related to Williamââ¬â¢s and Jessieââ¬â¢s concerns are the male and female sexual scripts. According to Strong, DeVault, Sayad and Yarber (2008), ââ¬Å"Sexual Scripts refers to the acts, rules, and expectations associated with a particular roleâ⬠(p. 143). All humans are sexual beings; however we all are diverse in terms of our sexual definitions and script expectations. Sexual scripts are not innate, yet they are learned through culture and socialization (Strong et al. 2008). There are as many distinctive sexual scripts as there are people, nonetheless some of these scripts have common themes and can be recognized as a shared blueprint or trend in the larger society. Some male scripts that are relatable to Williamsââ¬â¢s concerns are: Performance is a thing that counts. A man always wants sex and is ready for it and, sexual intercourse leads to orgasm. Society has this idea that is embedded in many people that sex to men is something to be accomplished (Strong et al. 2008). It is important for us to notice that in Williams situation, he is feeling like ââ¬Å"less of a manâ⬠, in other words, his ego is bruised, because he cannot make Jessie climax. Additionally, there are sexual scripts allotted to women as well. Some female scripts relatable to Jessieââ¬â¢s concerns are: ââ¬Å"The traditional male sexual scripts focuses on sex over feelings, the traditional female sexual script focuses on feelings over sex, on love over passionâ⬠(p. 41). Jessie apparently has issues during sex because she canââ¬â¢t get over the thought of Williams having sexual contact with another woman, especially when William is supposed become Jessieââ¬â¢s future husband. The sexual script that relates to this issue is that the woman does not want to have sex, sex is uncomfortable for her or not pleasurable for her. However due to female sexual scripts, women should not talk about sex (Strong et al. , 2008). Sexual scripts are similar to traditional gender roles; society holds men and women accountable for the roles and expectations that have been set for them and if we fail to live up to them, then we are failures at our gender. Moreover, there are indeed biological and psychological components of William and Jessieââ¬â¢s case. Starting with William, he canââ¬â¢t achieve to make Jessie Climax. Psychological causes include trust and communication related stress and anxiety, because he too busy trying to gain Jesseââ¬â¢s trust. Because of this William is most likely concerned about his sexual performance, trust issues and the guilt of having sexual intoxicate intercourse with his work colleague. For women in particular, emotional closeness is a main component in sexual desire (Strong et al. , 2008) and because William cheated with a colleague, she perhaps could have grown psychologically distant. As stated by Strong et al. (2008), ââ¬Å"Desire is the psychological component of sexual arousalâ⬠(p. 92). According to the Masters and Johnsonââ¬â¢s four-phrase model of sexual response, Kaplanââ¬â¢s tri-phasic model of sexual response and Loulanââ¬â¢s sexual response model, they all include desire and excitement as key elements to sexual response and pleasure and without these two elements, a person cannot truly experience the true satisfaction of sexual intercourse and an orgasm (Strong et al. , 2008). In relation to this case the developmental concerns related to the early adulthood stage according to Strong et al. 2008) are the following: Integrating love and sex, forging intimacy and making commitments. Integrating love and sex was not integrated when it comes to Williamsââ¬â¢s infidelity. William was more so thinking with his penis rather than thinking about the love of his life Jessie. As the female, Jessie thinks more with her heart and values the love for William. The thought of betrayal from William, may possibly be disheartening and could hinder Jessie from climaxi ng during intimacy. In Jessieââ¬â¢s mind, loving William and having that solid connection with him was important to her. Furthermore this developmental concern strongly compares to the male sexual script with thoughts of sex over feelings, while the womanââ¬â¢s thoughts consist of feelings over sex. The key to integrating love and sex was missing because of Williamsââ¬â¢s infidelity. Therefore uniting the two will take a longer process to connect. Forging intimacy and making commitments plays an integral part in the developmental concerns in this case as well. According to Strong et al. (2008) as a relationship become more meaningful, the degree of intimacy and interdependence increases. As adults become more intimate, most desire to develop their ability to make commitments. In relation to William and Jesse they are in a meaningful relationship, they were planning to get married and spend the rest of their lives with one another, before the infidelity occurred. It is my assumption the intimacy was on a higher level but after the infidelity occurred the intimacy decreased and the trust and communication issues began to form. During the early adulthood stage young adults begin to attend college and students began to meet lots of people in their age bracket. There will be opportunities during college where students attend plenty of social gatherings (frat/sororities houses and parties) and majority of the time alcohol and drugs are involved as well as risky sexual activities. Strong et al (2008) strongly believes that among college students, the use of alcohol is associated with an increased risk of unwanted intercourse, sexual violence and STDS. Since Jesse and William are in the early adulthood stage, it is a strong possibility William wants to venture out in a since before he gets married. Maybe he feels pressured and tied down to Jessie. Lastly, infidelity is common amongst the early adulthood population. Research by McAnaulty and Brineman (2007), states that 41% of the students identified having sexual intercourse with a person other than oneââ¬â¢s primary partner as constituting being ââ¬Å"unfaithful. â⬠More students (57%) identified ââ¬Å"dating/spending time with anotherâ⬠as ââ¬Å"unfaithfulness. â⬠Infidelity can greatly affect committed relationships, because it could cause a lack of communication and trust worthiness. When relationships are broken, a lot of emotions occur such as lack of sleep, a decrease in appetite, anxiety and constant crying in some cases.
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